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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27832312">Seeing Eye</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desseruh/pseuds/Desseruh'>Desseruh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blind Character, Blindness, Blue Eyes, Demons are born into their true forms, Developing Relationship, Drama, Emotional Baggage, Emotionally Repressed, Eye Trauma, Eyes, F/M, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Other, Pain, Protection, Self-Destruction, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Sixth Sense, Slow Romance, Soul Bond, Trauma, mutual dependence, reiki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:54:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27832312</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desseruh/pseuds/Desseruh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A fight leads to a disastrous outcome for Kagome, stealing her sight and her self-perceived 'usefulness'. </p><p>But sight really isn't everything.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Higurashi Kagome/Sesshoumaru, InuYasha/Kikyou (InuYasha), Miroku/Sango (InuYasha)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Eye Sore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If bad things were to happen, they always happened on a cliffside. On the edge of a gorge, to be more precise. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Somewhere dangerous.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And Kagome felt as if she was in danger. It was a pit in her stomach as she held Shippo closer to her, his face nuzzled into her shoulder as he took a nap, having come down with a sickness a few days prior. </p><p> </p><p>No one else seemed to feel in danger- Even Inuyasha walked at a languid- albeit still <em>rather fast</em>- stride. His hands turned into his sleeves, his ears not even perked. Of course, he would always be viciously hungry for battle and the journey for the jewel shards <em>hadn’t</em> been all that kind lately…</p><p> </p><p>Well, she was glad that he wasn’t bickering. Commanding her to try harder, especially when Shippo had been under for so many days. </p><p> </p><p>It was late fall and the sweetness of leaves and the burgeoning smell of wet earth lingered in the air. The harvest season was in full swing when the left Edo and the air had turned bitter, leaving the inu-tachi far from the footpaths. Exactly a week’s worth of traveling, to be absolutely <em> clear.  </em></p><p> </p><p>And Kagome was starting to feel the strain of slowly chipped away resources, just <em> exaggerated </em> with the lacking foraging as the forest growth began to diminish. </p><p> </p><p>At least she was warm; hidden beneath a heavy, cable-knit sweater and long pants instead of the <em> illustrious 13th school uniform </em> layering tattered on the dining room table. </p><p> </p><p>Her mother had seen the blood on this one. </p><p> </p><p>Perhaps that’s why she felt off? The fact that everything was anxiety-inducing and she had to hide the fact she was fighting tooth and nail in the past to get around some days. And her mother, though not unintelligent, had caught on. </p><p> </p><p>The strained eyes, the mouth set in a line. ‘<em> Kagome… this </em> <em> is blood </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>She’d been injured before. Of course, she had- </p><p> </p><p>But she’d also been smart enough to <em> bleach </em> her white top before. </p><p> </p><p>Taking a hand from Shippo’s back, Kagome rubbed under one eye. It was going to be a long year. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> At least she wasn’t a dropout, right? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Wrong. Seventeen and a statistic. </p><p> </p><p>This time they had said she was in the States receiving treatment <em> from a lead facility </em> that just happened to want to know <em> exactly what was wrong. </em></p><p> </p><p>She was crazy. That’s what it was. </p><p> </p><p>Kagome was mad. That <em> had </em> to explain this growing paranoia. This feeling. </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes strayed again, staring at the overcast sky as she tucked her hand back against Shippo, who muttered something in his sleep. Strange maternal instincts screaming at her to hide him despite not <em> seeing </em>anything off. </p><p> </p><p>Well- nothing <em> Jewel related.  </em></p><p> </p><p>“Ey K’gome! Sense anything yet?”</p><p> </p><p>Speak of the devil. Speak of the hanyou. </p><p> </p><p>Inuyasha cast an eye back at her, his narrow pupil slitting against the white sky while his mouth fixed itself into a line. Oh how she would have yearned for him to <em> not </em> look at her like she was deserving him. </p><p> </p><p>“Eh? Something wrong?”</p><p> </p><p><em> Just everything. </em> </p><p> </p><p>“N-no. At least, I don’t think so.” Kagome started out, the edge of her lip caught in her teeth. “I can’t sense any Jewel Shards if that’s what you’re asking. But-”</p><p> </p><p>“Gah!” His ears flattened and she could see his muscles tense in his back. “I’m gonna look ahead. Somethings gotta be around here.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> No. No no no!  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Inuya-”</p><p> </p><p>But he was gone, his feet moving against the ground to break physics <em> once again </em> to leap ahead at impossible heights and impossible speeds. Leaving them, increasing Kagome’s anxiety. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry Lady Kagome.” Miroku’s swaggering footsteps fell in beside her as one hand came to rest on her shoulder. “Activity has been down all week.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yes, but it’s gotta break sometime. Don’t you see?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. It’s just…” Kagome trailed off as she looked behind her, past the monk, and on the trail behind them. “I have this bad feeling.” </p><p> </p><p>“Like a-”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Kagome cut Sango off as she readjusted Shippo against her hip. “I didn’t lie to Inuyasha. There <em> are </em> no jewel shards. I just- I feel like we are being watched.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm.” Sango, at least, didn’t look offended at Kagome’s snapping attitude, but simply looked back as well. Her own brow knitting slightly. “Maybe it’s the birds- they haven’t been chirping with the new chill setting in.” </p><p> </p><p>Kagome’s mouth twisted slightly, only nodding after a moment’s consideration. “Sure.”</p><p> </p><p>Noncommittal. She could feel something dancing on her skin, telling her to move. And she found distinctly strange that neither of her companions, more intuned than her, wouldn’t also feel it. </p><p> </p><p>But Miroku’s hand drifted down the curve of her spine and Kagome lost her words as she smacked him away, her paranoia drifting into irritation. It was somewhat welcome, the distraction, but it only lasted for a second. And when Kagome turned away from Miroku, who was left to the berating words of Sango, she felt her skin crawl again. </p><p> </p><p>No. Something was wrong. </p><p> </p><p>Squinting down the path, Kagome was hit with a strange sense of deja vu -well, if she wasn’t <em> completely </em> certain that the tree at the edge of the path had the <em> same </em> exact imprinting on it as one a mile back. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t one for ‘spot the difference’, but she was certain. Sickeningly so. </p><p> </p><p>Kagome bit her tongue and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, her eyes trailing the area as she tried to pick out more things that could possibly be <em> the same. </em></p><p> </p><p>A rock that looked strangely like a toad, a leaf that was so blazingly yellow, a runoff that split halfway down. An imprint that looked strangely like a face on an old gnarled cherry tree. </p><p> </p><p>It blinked at her. </p><p> </p><p>Kagome’s reaction was instantaneous: her jaw locking and her muscles tensed. A scream lodging in her throat as the face of the tree went sour, its wooden teeth bared in an oni’s snarl. </p><p> </p><p>Somewhere above them, it shook its barren limbs. </p><p> </p><p>Kagome’s gut churned and something within her was happy the limbs were autumn-struck. Who knew what it’s pollen would have done? </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> How long had they been trapped here?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Both Miroku and Sango had followed her gaze to the demon tree, their lax faces snapping to attention as if coming out of a delirious fog. They, seemingly, recognized the beast just as the roots below them shifted and twisted. It reminded her of Menōmaru’s Forest of No Return.</p><p> </p><p>Something stabbed out at Kagome from under the soil, the soft earth curling as she fumbled away- her hands full with Shippo. </p><p> </p><p>Sango was already wielding hiraikotsu, slamming the sharp-edged boomerang into the tree line. The face, still snarling, faded from the bark. </p><p> </p><p><em> Where was it, where was it?! </em> If something were to resemble the beast, it <em> had </em> to be the face. It wasn’t the best, but it was the only determining factor. It probably wasn’t even really in the slightest…</p><p> </p><p>The roots, or what Kagome assumed to be the roots, shifted beneath her feet again as she tried to maneuver Shippo to her shoulders, her hands fumbling for the bow strapped to her back. </p><p> </p><p>The ground cracked and the moist soil frothed up, the unfurling branches of a tree pushing out before her- cornering her on the edge of gorge with its immensity- an oni’s face snarling at her from the center of peeled bark.</p><p> </p><p>Fresh in the making, Kagome could see the wrappings of dodder flowers over the gnarled branch, parasitic and engorged on the choking wood. The petals, withering in front of her, were blood red. </p><p> </p><p>One of the branches lashed out, its horrible twisted architecture lashing at her in an arch- spraying pollen upwards and into the air. Without even touching it, Kagome could feel the caustic-nature of it- the evil in a floating speck. The youkai lancing through the air with every sway of those branches. </p><p> </p><p>Kagome’s hands fumbled as she dropped her bow and curled in upon Shippo, shoving his limp body under her heavy sweater to hide him from the raining youkai, that of which sizzled and burned against her skin as he reiki came to flush it out. </p><p> </p><p>What a <em> mess.  </em></p><p> </p><p>The branches still quaked above her head, shaking and bending until the tines themselves were slapping against the skin of her back and hunched shoulders. It hurt, like getting hit with switches, and one of her hands came fumbling to catch some of the branches. </p><p> </p><p>It was as her hand enclosed the bough of one of the trees that another struck her horizontally across the eyes in a spray of pollen. </p><p> </p><p>It didn’t even hurt, initially. </p><p> </p><p>Just blank darkness and a warm feeling that built and built, like an eyelash caught under the lid that she couldn’t blink out. It stung- and then it burned. And Kagome could feel the slick heat of something slip down her cheeks and the smell of copper fill the air. </p><p> </p><p>The world was dark. </p><p> </p><p>The world was dark. </p><p> </p><p>The world was-</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t see- every time she blinked, there was no clearage- no blurry image of a horrible oni’s face and no dodder flowers. In a panic, her reiki sparked into her fingertips- thankfully not in the hand holding poor Shippo- and coursed into the bark and the dodder parasite. </p><p> </p><p>In her absolution of panic, her reiki had come to answer. Spanning down the lengths of the branch and tracing ropes of dodder, the energy went deep into the core of the tree- bubbling up and burning. </p><p> </p><p>Despite being thrummed with adrenaline and sheer panic, she could feel it. Like a map or a hive mind, she was briskly allowed into- her mind bringing up intensive images of the trees. Well- no, not the trees; but the <em> dodder. </em>She could feel it- the grip of the root deep into the rings of the wood.</p><p> </p><p>Feeding itself with the trees, which <em> had </em> been a demon or spirit, own life force and spanning for miles. It was a strike to her senses, something so utterly massive and intricate playing out in her head like a strike of lightning over a dark sky. Her hand spasmed once as she let go, cutting the connection in fear. </p><p> </p><p>The air filled with smoke:  the striking reaction of dry timber, reiki, and aggressive youkai. </p><p> </p><p>Already waylaid and insane by proxy, Kagome thrashed in her spot before tearing away with Shippo gripped tightly to her stomach. She couldn’t see, she couldn’t <em> fight- </em>and she needed to get out of there. </p><p><br/>
As fast as possible, the madness of her state setting in so she could not hear the screams of either Miroku or Sango, Kagome lurched in a random direction- just keeping the demon dodder, the tree, and sheer drop of the gorge at her back. </p><p> </p><p>Viscous fluid and blood seeped from her closed eyes, whipping ribbons into the air and streaking her face. The pain had truly begun to set in at that point. The feeling of wrongness and horrid edges- edges where the branch had <em> bisected </em> her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>No. Gods no. </p><p> </p><p>The path in which Kagome ran suddenly dipped as she broke through the previous, and dying, repetitive loop and into new territory. Her feet tripped upon themselves on the downhill, the edge of one caught under the toe of the other- sending Kagome into a head-over-ass roll. </p><p> </p><p>Kagome and Shippo, who was held in the cusp of her folded legs and locked arms, tumbled down the hill. Her shoulder slammed into a tree, her hip grazed a rock, and one pant leg was torn clean from her body from just below the knee.  </p><p> </p><p>The rest of her would be very bruised, she could feel the warmth spread under her skin as she finally lay at a dead stop at the bottom of the incline. Gasping for air behind her clenched teeth, choking on her own sobs. </p><p> </p><p>Her hands fumbled blindly and she pulled Shippo from her sweater, her hands exceedingly gentle as she smoothed a hand over his forehead and cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>“Sh-shippo… Shippo!” If her muscle could, she would have writhed in agony. The thought of him being injured- dead! It was unbelievable to her. It was soul-crushing. </p><p> </p><p>But there, just where his mouth and nose would have been, <em> if she could fucking see </em>, puffed over her searching fingertips. One of his hands, as if he was unconsciously calming her, pawed at her hand until his feverish forehead pressed against her palm. </p><p> </p><p>Achingly, with the knowledge the Shippo was <em> at least alive </em>, she sat up and pulled him to sit in the crooks of her folded, aching legs. She could smell the burning in the air, still, and the heat of the oncoming flame. </p><p> </p><p>But, almost selfishly, she reached up and touched her face. Fingers right in front of her eyes as she felt the swollen skin. Gods, she could feel the youkai in her eyes. It burned and her reiki was <em> trying </em> to score it away. </p><p> </p><p>The outer edge of her left eye was split open and there was a very clear slice over her nose ridge that was absolutely <em> spitting </em> blood. </p><p> </p><p>Her hands shook and a million and one questions spun through her mind. What was she <em> going to do? </em> </p><p> </p><p>Blind. </p><p> </p><p>She was blind. </p><p> </p><p>Kagome wanted to fall back into a screaming fit- the sheerness of the situation settling on her shoulders, but not dragging her down. </p><p> </p><p>She needed to get Shippo and herself out of the path of the oncoming fire and then she needed to <em> wait. </em> Wait until Inuyasha or Kirara to sniff her out when the dust and smoke settle. She needed to bind her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>One hand fumbled behind her, a rising tension through her pushed her in a mad dash for the roll of bandages in the water bottle sleeve at her hip. It was dense and rough in her hand, often being used on Inuyasha’s numerous injuries, but it was <em> something </em> and it would keep things out of the wound. </p><p> </p><p>And <em> hopefully, </em> when she went back to her era, they would be able <em> fix </em> this. Stitch her cornea back together- <em> something. </em>But even her futuristic medicine didn’t lull her shrieking panic as she wrapped the thick material around her head over and over until she ran out of it. </p><p> </p><p>The heat was closer now. Kagome could hear the snapping of branches and dry leaves in the air. The dead trees- and <em> they were certainly dead </em>- were lighting up. No frozen moisture, the fallen leaves tinder. </p><p> </p><p>Cramming Shippo under her shirt again and pulling the neck of it over her own nose, Kagome turned and stumbled in the other direction- one hand feeling for the trees as she stumbled over roots and uneven ground. Blackness upon blackness, she did not know where she was going- it was simply that she needed to get away. She, at least, needed to save Shippo. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Lord’s Entourage, Minus the Lord Himself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ah-Un, whoever they are.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warnings: Blindness, child illness, and burning forests.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kagome was shrouded in darkness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was so off-putting- She could feel the shroud of her bandage over her eyes and could feel the tattered skin bisecting them. But- </span>
  <em>
    <span>there was nothing. </span>
  </em>
  <span> Not even the floating light spots invaded her vision-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was hard to come to terms with. It has only been...minutes since it happened. But she still, under the wrappings, tried to blink. It stung, it hurt-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it did nothing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shippo, who was still faint from his illness, nuzzled into the underside of her breast and latched his claws into the sensitive skin of her ribcage.  Despite the discomfort, Kagome pressed her hand to his lower back, keeping him pinned to that area. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With her arm stuck out in front of her and her feet unsure, Kagome had continued to make her way through the woods. It was slow, it was hot, and she couldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking see</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but she refused to stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fire would spread and eat away the land. She would need to find shelter or water to spare her from burns and asphyxiation, a task most daunting when the roar of blood and fire drowned out the sounds of water- if any was around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taking a breath from the safety of her sweater, Kagome ducked up and screamed: “Inuyasha!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was short, one breath before she ducked back in- a cinder brushing her nose and smoke dusting her tongue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But she </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. Needed him to get here quickly, as he had always done, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>save Shippo and herself. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After getting another breath of air, Kagome shouted again. And again. And again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As she shuffled and stumbled, the smell and heat of fire choking her, Kagome screamed into the sky for her beloved savior- each time getting hoarser and hoarser until she was left to just cough pitifully from inside her sweater shield. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was going to die here. And Shippo too-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t as terrifying as she thought it would be. She’d been faced with the option of death so many times that this one simply seemed unreal. Burnt to death. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t Naraku. It wasn’t a human or demon under the influence of the jewel-shard. It wasn’t even Kikyou. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For everything it was- Kagome didn’t know what to think. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was so anti-climatic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still, Kagome moved. Her feet moving over roots and between rocks as she shuffled along. She didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> it to end. She didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to give up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Lady Kagome!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Behind the fuzz of her dizziness, just realized as she tried to turn her head, she could have sworn she heard something. The crackle of trees and underbrush aflame had echoed over it, and for a second Kagome had thought that she was making it up- something to comfort her as she died. But she didn’t- It wasn’t-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, she wasn’t that far gone, was she? A little dizzy, disorientated from being unable to see her surroundings, and throat sore from screaming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But she wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>dying. Was she?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“H-hello!?” Kagome’s voice was hissing and cracked, her lips peeking out of her sweater for just a second-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then something grabbed her- well, her backpack. Like a deus ex machina out of the void. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome’s legs and arms locked- unable to see she felt herself get lifted higher- into the choking rising smoke and smog and then beyond. Shippo, if he had been awake, would have been uncomfortable with how tightly she was holding him to her stomach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh gods</span>
  </em>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lady Kagome!” The voice said again, sounding clearer and childlike. “Are you alright?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Rin. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Oh, thank god it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rin. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As if to answer her question on who was holding her, the scaled face of the two-headed dragon brushed against her cheek- letting a huff of hot air shift her hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome had never been close to the dragon before- she stayed far away from the group per Inuyasha’s incessant dislike of anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sesshoumaru.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But she was also uncertain about the dragon too- clearly being someone of the Lord’s illustrious company </span>
  <em>
    <span>before</span>
  </em>
  <span> the company of Rin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, if he was anything like </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaken</span>
  </em>
  <span> she wanted nothing to do with him. And if he was as...fierce, she’d call it fierce, as Sesshoumaru- she didn’t want any trouble. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But here, it seemed to have its own distinctive personality as it held tight to her backpack, the other head hooking itself under her spare arm so her fingers could wrap into his dense mane. With Shippo, however, she dared not move more than that in fear of the space between the ground and her feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rin! You insufferable child!” Kagome flinched- her ears tender as they made up for her lost sight as </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaken</span>
  </em>
  <span> made his existence known to her. “Drop her! It’s Inuyasha’s wench!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a harsh sound, like something being struck before the head under her hand moved away from her, shaking her dangling body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, stop! That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>mine</span>
  </em>
  <span> you ill-fated lizard!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome wasn’t listening, just tucked into herself and around Shippo, her armpits aching where the straps dug in. It was just- too fucking much right now. She was happy that she hadn’t burned to death- but was she being tossed from the fire back into the frying pan? Sesshoumaru wasn’t what she would call ‘friendly’ and she wouldn’t expect much mercy from him, despite Rin’s step in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine.</span>
  </em>
  <span> When they landed, she would </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kappa was still shouting, the dragon was still flying, and for now, Kagome was still alive. And so was Shippo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Kagome’s stomach did flips and the feeling of rapid descent roused her body anxiously. She had no idea where they were landing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rin?” Kagome spoke above the sound of wind and Jaken, her voice still rough. “Rin did you see my group anywhere?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rin hasn’t seen anyone but Master Jaken, Ah-Un, and Lady Kagome today!” Rin shouted over the noise that the dragon and the kappa made. Great. Just great-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop, you damnable thing!” Suddenly, the dragon shifted positions in the sky, rocking to the side with a growl. “You listen to ME in the great Lord Sesshoumaru’s absence! ME!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her teeth dug slightly into her lip, holding back a groan as vertigo struck her as her body was tossed about by gravity. Internally, she was worried about the straps to her backpack- it was old, and she wasn’t the </span>
  <em>
    <span>lightest</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing on earth- especially seeing as she put the damn bag through hell and back every time she went home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The dragon rolled back the other way and kicked off faster, making Kagome squeak in alarm as the wind rushed past her ears and her ankles brushed the chest of Ah-Un. Her anxiety doubled, and she was feeling sick, a type of adrenaline bubbling through her that tossed her gut and brain around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, they were descending again. And the Kappa still screamed- albeit incoherently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A branch brushed her foot and she flinched, the smell of leaf litter filling the air as they entered back into the woods again- however, no smell of burning and smoke filled the air and the sound of a river trickled by. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the dragon landed, Kagome was still curled in on herself and Shippo as the head sat them down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she just sat there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, without the absolute need to run, it was setting in a little more greatly. She had </span>
  <em>
    <span>run</span>
  </em>
  <span> from her friends. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She</span>
  </em>
  <span> was now </span>
  <em>
    <span>somewhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she was blind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome touched the bandage she had wrapped around her eyes, ashy and slightly moist on the side of one eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was sure if she pulled her hand away, it would have been bloody. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With shaking hands, she pulled Shippo out from under her sweater- feeling his face and fur, slicking his mop of hair back with a hand.  He mumbled something and grabbed her other hand, tucking it close to his chest in sleep as he rested on her folded legs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How bad was it that he slept through that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is wrong with Shippo, Lady Kagome?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t know where Rin was, her voice coming from somewhere beside her. “He is ill. Please don’t get too close, it could be contagious.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cont-a-gee-ous?” It was over-pronounced but otherwise correct. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome nodded shakily, as she shuffled the pack from her shoulders and drugged it next to her with her free hand as she responded: “It means that you could get sick if you touch him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fumbling around, Kagome finally got the pack open so she could dig through its contents in search of her water bottle. She could still feel Rin’s eyes on her, and the shuffle of one foot as it shifted through the dirt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is wrong with Lady Kagome?” Then a hand touched the side of her face, small and plump and right beneath her bandage. Without the warning of her approach, Kagome hadto lock herself in place so as to not flinch wholeheartedly at the unforeseen touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-uh- I got injured.” the hand slipped away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, there was a very still pause.. She couldn’t even hear the kappa-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Haha! The wench is blind!” The noise startled her, coming from somewhere to her left. “Inuyasha is clearing incapable of taking care of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>mere </span>
  </em>
  <span>wench! One more win for Lord Sesshoumaru!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was...not as humorous as he made it sound to be. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>harsh</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>cruel</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And Kagome could feel her heart shift unhappily in her chest. Her left eye burned and her right eye throbbed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a dual snarl and the soft sound of something being hit- the shrill sound of Jaken as he screeched through the air before hitting the ground meters away. The dragon, in turn, refocused on her. She could feel his eyes on her and then the slow meander of footsteps as it came to settle beside her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Part of her, something deep and instinctual, knew he was being intentionally loud. Shuffling his feet and breathing in her general direction so she knew where he was. It sobered her, just a little. Small comfort in the slowly dissipating shock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rin is sorry for Master Jaken.” There was a smallness to Rin’s voice, a guilty noise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome’s hand finally made it around the water bottle, the inside sloshing pleasantly. She took no time in pulling out and biting open the plug top; taking a long and deep sip that soothed the insides of her throat until she was refreshed enough to turn the nozzle to Shippo- in a weird, baby-bottle way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault Rin,” Kagome soothed after a moment, slouching her body in a way to support Shippo as her free hand tilted his mouth open. “Jaken is just mean to be mean.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm..” It was sad and she heard and felt it when Rin settled into her back. Kagome wanted to tell her that it might be dangerous, but she couldn’t tell her no. They were both upset and Kagome needed something to ground her, and an unconscious kit was not going to soothe her frayed nerves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So instead, Kagome changed the subject. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where is Lord Sesshoumaru?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was an attempt at light conversation, something that would clearly get Rin to talk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” A clear change sparked through the air, and for a second, Kagome was waylaid with a strange sense of knowledge of the intricacies of  Rin’s emotions toward Sesshoumaru. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Love, admiration, affection, idolism, pride… </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as it came, it went. And Kagome tried to ignore it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lord Sesshoumaru will be back by nightfall! He went to the-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! Foolish human </span>
  <em>
    <span>child!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Do not tell the enemy of Lord Sesshoumaru’s business.” There was the slap of webbed feet against the ground and Jaken’s voice hurt her ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome was worn- tired beyond her own existence. Her eyes burned, her lungs ached, and her head throbbed. Her skin was bruised and she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>missing a pant leg.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The only thing keeping her from raging or crying, was the fact Shippo was drinking: his mouth and throat moving as he sucked down water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thank the </span>
  <em>
    <span>gods. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he was done, she cuddled him- holding him so dearly and tucking her head into him. She needed to focus on him- not Jaken. Not herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not herself. She would be fine if she just-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If she just…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If she...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t know. Kagome didn’t know what would happen. To her, to Shippo, to her friends-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh god. Her friends She </span>
  <em>
    <span>left them. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She had turned and run. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Rin had said she hadn’t seen them-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had Kirara. They </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kirara. They could see and they </span>
  <em>
    <span>had Kirara. They didn’t burn up and die. They didn’t. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt Shippo move against her, pressing his nose into the curve of her neck and took a large inhale. Kagome, in turn, patted his back and smoothed the soft fur of his tail. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Her baby. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“R-rin. Sweetheart? How much of the day is left?” Her voice was hoarse again, laced with unshed tears and panic. She may not be able to see, but she had memorized her friends- and their burning corpses haunted the sightless void. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm- Rin thinks the sun is close to the edge. They almost touch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome slouched more- it had been past midday when she had left, meaning that it was getting closer to what she would call ‘5 pm’. And that meant it was going to get darker a lot sooner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck you, Autumn. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome sighed and shifted her backpack to her shoulders. “Can you point me in the direction we came from? I need to get back to my friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was stupid- surely. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> stupid. But she didn’t want to face the daiyoukai- no no. It was a mix of fear and anxiety when she was around him- She’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>seen his power. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It wasn’t something she was prone to forget. Not since the Inu no Taisho’s tomb. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’d take her chances with the wilds and unknown- but not Lord Sesshoumaru. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as she was about to stand one of Ah-Un’s heads snatched her backpack and the other caught the frayed edge of her pant leg and subsequently pulled her back into the cleft between the two of them. Kagome froze against their actions, a spear of fear cutting her deeply as one of them rested their head across her knees- the weight holding her still. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No- I need to </span>
  <em>
    <span>go.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kagome squirmed for a second before a thrum of yokai curled over her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lord Sesshoumaru is here!” Both Run and Jaken announced it as one- a cacophony of a sweet child’s voice and the shuddering belch of an overgrown toad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Kagome froze- her breath caught as she slid further back into the dragon. She was inches away from a full mental breakdown- </span><b><em>inches.</em></b> <span>Ah-Un gave a low keen, the head not laying on her legs coming to nuzzle the crown of her head and Kagome </span><em><span>could feel</span></em><span> their intentions. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A strange stretch of foreign emotions, both animalistic and distinctly sentient, and most of them angled at her comfort. Which, beyond everything else, was strange to her- she’d just met the dragon. There should have been no feelings of </span>
  <em>
    <span>protectiveness</span>
  </em>
  <span> or </span>
  <em>
    <span>sympathy</span>
  </em>
  <span> coming from them. She didn’t even know which head was who- </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>hear it</span>
  </em>
  <span> when Sesshoumaru landed- but she </span>
  <em>
    <span>could feel it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Internally, somewhere instinctual and scared, could feel him- center stage, just off to her side, in front of Rin and Jaken. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah-Un shifted, both heads coming up to look at their master, which allowed for Kagome to curl back up- to come around Shippo with what little armor her body could give. Within her mind she could see red eyes, clashing swords and claws, and teeth bigger than her entire body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shippo moaned in his sleep and without thinking, Kagome cooed to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt Sesshoumaru finally turned his attention to her- Of course, she knew that he knew that she was there. And she knew that he was...for lack of a better word, displeased. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was as if her blindness had let her tap into a strange sensory of the people around her- Rin, Ah-Un, and now Sesshoumaru. It wasn’t understood- she had hardly enough to understand her own </span>
  <em>
    <span>disability</span>
  </em>
  <span>, let alone the strangeness of her powers-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-a map yokai passed through her memory, stretching for miles, lighting up with all the different life sources...including a dragon, a kappa, and a child. Somewhere in the other direction a dog-boy. Next to her two humans and a nekomata-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And countless others. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome didn’t want that power. It was like being spread too thin- </span>
  <em>
    <span>all beings breathing and exhaling, the death of some and the birth of others-</span>
  </em>
  <span> No! No, no no... That had been. So overwhelming. Like a kick in the face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And this </span>
  <em>
    <span>strange</span>
  </em>
  <span> brevity to people’s emotions felt like a sour </span>
  <em>
    <span>intrusion.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Voyeuristic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now she was faced with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sesshoumaru’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> emotions. A vicious strain of territorial instinct, dislike, disgust- and a sharp, morbid curiosity. His eyes were on her- a few shades darker than Inuyasha’s warm honey for a sharp, cold gold color. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She would never unsee them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah-Un curled back around her, one of their heads resting on her feet and the other on the bony arches of her knee-caps as if hiding her from their master. Tenderly, as she did not know what to do, she reached out and touched the edge of Ah’s face. Yes- yes she was certain this head was named ‘Ah’, suddenly and with some kind of deflection from the beast’s youkai. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please calm down-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’ll be ok-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And suddenly, Sesshoumaru’s attention was off of her. Disregarded, ignored, as he walked to a tree. Rin was saying something to him, stuff about a burning forest and how she was happy to see him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome continued to coo softly to Shippo, holding his body close to hers as he shivered deeply; his skin clammy and hot. Despite this, she pressed her lips to his forehead; hoping dearly he would break his fever soon. She could smell smoke in his hair...</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>This was her fault. This was all her </span><em><span>fucking</span></em><span> fault. If she had just told Inuyasha- </span><b><em>forced</em></b> <span>him to stop so she could focus all her energy on Shippo they wouldn’t have been in the dodder forest. </span><em><span>Or,</span></em><span> better yet, she should have </span><em><span>sat him</span></em><span> when he tried leaving them behind. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>God- when did she become so meek? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The answer was there- somewhere behind the endless journey for Jewel Shards, maybe. Or maybe it was depression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One hand slipped up, brushing against the heavy wrappings around her eyes as if to brush the sting of tears away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It just made her eyes sting more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kagome sighed. It was simple- just a fluttering sigh, as her sore heart ached. She could have a breakdown later, she could </span>
  <em>
    <span>cry</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>sob</span>
  </em>
  <span> and be </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry</span>
  </em>
  <span> later. But for now, her hand made its way through Shippo’s sweaty hair, humming an old lullaby as he shifted into her embrace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She would leave tomorrow; request Ah-Un to take her to her friends and hope that </span>
  <em>
    <span>no more shit</span>
  </em>
  <span> happened until then. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span>Shifting, Kagome pressed the side of her face into Un’s neck, ignoring the inconsistencies of how </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> she knew that, and silently thanked them both. She wasn’t dead, of course, she </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t see, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but she wasn’t dead. And that's all she needed right now. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>All will be explained in later chapters.</p><p>I am going to utilize Ah-Un as a more intelligent character instead of just being some scaly rat horse. </p><p>AND YES, AS DISCUSSED IN THE DISCORD HE IS JUST A SCALY RAT HORSE. I WAS DRAWING HIM FOR 3 HOURS AND HE IS NOT AS     D R A G O N Y     AS I WOULD HAVE LIKED.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Bipolar Dog Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sesshoumaru is...an asshole.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kagome was in her family home preparing dinner. Sango and Miroku were in the kitchen with her preparing the egg fried rice; spilling day-old rice on the floor and trying to scramble eggs. The sound of laughter filled the air. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shippo was on the countertop helping her prepare squid and sauces, making disgusting noises every time he touched one of the squid’s long, spindly tentacles. His fur was matted with soy sauce and sesame oil.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Somewhere in the house, she could hear Inuyasha yelling about some physics in one of Souta’s games that angered him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Huh. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This seemed off- but she couldn’t place why. She was with her friends and her family- her mother was sitting at the kitchen table talking to Kaede. Yes, that was right- wasn’t it? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her mother looked older too with grey hairs flecking her short hair and crow’s feet pulled at the edges of her eyes. She was drinking coffee instead of tea. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Was that what was off? Her mother never drank coffee. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Huh. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>An egg hit the floor, spattering the ankles of Miroku and Sango as they turned to each other for a kiss. Behind them, the kitchen stove smoked as the rice burned. This was correct, wasn’t it? This was how they always cooked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mama, I don’t feel well.” Kagome turned slowly as if slipping through vicious fluid, unable to speak as she tried to look at Shippo. He had never called her ‘Mama’ before, why would he call her that now?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But the question wasn’t spoken. For some reason, her jaw had locked up as Miroku’s rodes caught on fire- her panic locked away behind her immobile body. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then there was Shippo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His skin had turned a sickly pale, the areas under his eye a greenish bruise. He was shaking- his skin sweaty and clammy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shippo-!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She reached out or at least tried to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But she watched, unable to move, as Shippo’s beautiful green eyes turned watery. Green water. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Out of his eye sockets spilled forth green fluid that floated in stretchy globs, like oil through the water. Pulling out and draining away, over the squid and down the sink- it left black holes in its wake. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Flies and smoke drifted through the air, the smell of sickness and burning choking the air. From the table, Kaede and her mother laughed. Shippo, right in front of her, shivered and died. His skin turned ashy before sprouting fur- his true form breaking through in death- a tiny fox kit, some of its fur still grey from infancy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sango moaned and Miroku laughed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inuyasha yelled again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The smoke was becoming dense, yet Kagome breathed it in. Through it she could see the dead body of Shippo, his face covered in flies. Something shivered under his skin and something glowed beyond his mouth and empty eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A soul-collector. Its serpentine body frothing out from between Shippo’s teeth and onto the counter, its insect legs jerking in a muscleless hydraulic mess before it too died. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kagome stood there. Unmoving and unresponsive in her family home’s kitchen, her hand still gripping a kitchen knife. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And soon, the smoke became so dense that it blocked her vision- going black. Firm black. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And then she was on her back. Shippo was under her hand and something scaled was pressed into her side. The bandage around her eyes was a firm pressure. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She had been dreaming.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kagome wasn’t new to nightmares. And her time in the past had taught her to be silent. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But she couldn’t brush it off. There on her back, between full consciousness and sleep, it felt like she was melting into the ground underneath her. A dissociation into the world around her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A thing of despair. Depression. Expression- her reiki seeped into the ground, into Shippo, into Ah-Un. Like roots- it tangled into the things around her. Shippo’s sick body was unreactive but as his carer, Kagome found solace in </span>
  <em>
    <span>feeling</span>
  </em>
  <span> his soul and his heart move within him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> Ah-Un shifted next to her, most likely startled, but simply sighed into her hair. She could feel the two separate beings that made up Ah and Un. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Still, Kagome could feel her soul seep down, tangling with the insects and worms- down further and into the roots of a tree. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Again, she was subjugated- Spread to the thinnest as her reiki laced into the tree’s feeling their own life-source as they tangled beneath them- lacing together for miles and miles- and back up their trunks to the other life forces in them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was so extensive- and Kagome felt as though she was losing herself. Her chest hurt and her mind was panicking. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everything.</span>
  </em>
  <span> A map of organisms; plant, animal, and fungal. All of them spanning for miles. It was an overload- she couldn’t keep up with all the moving pieces. Everything just moved too fast. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her heart was beating manically, yet she didn’t move. Her hands didn’t even twitch. Kagome felt like she was being pulled apart-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Until she was ripped from her spot pressed against Un- her hand falling away from Shippo as she was cast through the air. Her soul had slammed back into her, dragging itself into her like the snap of a rubber band. It made her skin itch and her bones ache- her brain pounded within her head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sesshoumaru. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His hand- cold and large- still wrapped around her bicep as it extruded a pressure that made her want to scream. He was livid- his youkai spiking into her as if trying to stab her as he dangled her by her right arm. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was so much aggression in him. And Kagome couldn’t see his face, but his soul was like that of an angry dog- prepared to maul her. Teeth and claws, a frothing disposition. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It made Kagome jerk, her sneakers making contact with his thigh as she tried getting away from him. He was a godless beast- she had felt the extent of him. Soul the color mulled wine and the thinnest patience was hidden behind a memory of a mask….</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He could not hide his bristling emotions. His viciousness. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This wasn’t the brashness that she had been used to when it came to Inuyasha. It was the kind of thing that made her bravery waver inside her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ah-Un was on the move, she could hear the creak of his legs and the sound of his claws against the ground. She could hear Shippo moan and Rin mumble something as she woke up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>God- He smelt like old blood. She could picture it flecked under his nails or between his teeth. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And he was so angry. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What, pray to tell, do you think you were doing?” His voice was strained through teeth. She could hear the hiss of air as he spoke lowly to her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her reiki. Her </span>
  <em>
    <span>soul</span>
  </em>
  <span> had brushed against him. And Sesshoumaru had felt it, its intrusion. So did Ah-Un, but he wasn’t responding to </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> transgression but instead making low keening noises and shuffling side to side. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘She didn’t mean to.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘It was an accident, my lord!’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sesshoumaru, if he could hear his stead as she did, paid him no mind as he thrashed her mid-air. Kagome felt like crying- or perhaps, vomiting. Without depth-perception, she felt as if she was being spun longways. Where was the ground? Where was she?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But Kagome knew where he was, his breathing so </span>
  <em>
    <span>loud.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Did he even breathe before? She wasn’t sure-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Lemme go!” Kagome bit out and tore at his hand with her free one, her short nails scraping skin. Her feet remained kicking at his thigh as her heart trembled and sped up in her chest., the jostling making her wounds sting. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The was a sharp snarl, something only a dog’s mouth could replicate. Something vile leaked between Kagome’s and Sesshoumaru’s minds, his rage a lucid and liquid thing. It made her taste blood. It made her </span>
  <em>
    <span>choke</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His youkai swelled around her, violent and bashing, as he </span>
  <em>
    <span>bit</span>
  </em>
  <span> into her forearm- his teeth cutting to the bone before quickly retracting. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I do not repeat myself.” He ground out, his youkai burning her skin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you are talking about!” Kagome still hadn’t quit squirming. Fresh blood tracked itself down the edge of her forearm and onto the ground. Some of it soaked into her sweater. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of instigating further Sesshoumaru quite suddenly tossed her to the ground, wrenching her shoulder in the process before banging her already bruised hip against the ground. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kagome didn’t cower under him- No, she turned onto her knees quickly and stood, albeit dizzily, and stood at attention. She couldn’t see him, but she could sense his horrible youkai as it thrashed around him angrily. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Would he kill her? Everything she had ever been through, was this how she would be ended? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kagome?” It was weak, and it was moaned. Shippo’s sick voice springing her to attention like nothing else, her muscles tensing as her lips found their way into a snarl. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was a tendril of surprise in Sesshoumaru’s feelings as his soul receded. It simmered before curiosity boiled over. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What the hell was with this guy? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rage was still there. Something vile right under it all that curdled Kagome’s blood. And she could feel his glare aimed at her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Take care of your kit.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was something out of The Infamous Bengal Ming. The weird instinctual rollercoaster that Ming went through after breaking into the nursery; urging the woman to take care of her baby even though he was a Bengal tiger and he was in the way of the child. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kagome felt like that woman- flooded with images of Shippo’s dead body from her dream. Her face did not waver, but she felt drenched in an angry panic. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then he moved, turning away from her and walking away. It left her feeling miffed- as if she was truly expecting him to lash out. Decapitate her. Something. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But he left. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ah and Un bent forward and grabbed her by her sleeves, pulling her back toward them and into the cleft between their necks. Rin made a small noise of concern from somewhere beyond Ah-Un, possibly from their saddle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kagome.” Shippo was right at her feet, and she gave no hesitation before bending down and picking him up. He squirmed into the bend of her arm, only awake for a second before falling back to sleep. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She needed to leave.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shouldering her backpack, Kagome ignored the sting of her arm where</span>
  <em>
    <span> Sesshoumaru fucking bit her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She couldn’t fucking handle that bullshit-  Even if she couldn’t see, it would be better than potentially getting waylaid by a bipolar dog man. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ah-Un moved to stop her, shuffling his large body to block her path into the woods. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Their </span>
  </em>
  <span>emotions were ranging from worry and concern to surprise and mortification. Kagome assumed all of those were in reference to </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> behavior. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Whatever. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kagome had taken one step into the woods, her hands against the rough bark of a tree and her foot poised on the edge of a root when something snaked into her hair and pulled sharply from behind. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Foolish wench!” Somewhere to her left Jaken made himself remembered, his voice pitching high. If her body hadn’t frozen: ramrod and scared, she would have flinched. “To turn your back on </span>
  <em>
    <span>Great</span>
  </em>
  <span> Lord Sesshoumaru!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kagome could feel the brush of claws against the back of her neck, the overwhelming aura of Sesshoumaru snapping back into existence. A livewire as he twisted her hair in his fist, a growl of pain floating from her lips before he forcibly turned her around and </span>
  <em>
    <span>marched her </span>
  </em>
  <span>back to Ah-Un. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you-? Let me leave!” Kagome‘s hair was only twisted more when she tried to wriggle away from him. In response to her still </span>
  <em>
    <span>belligerent nature</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she supposed, he brought her in close and growled. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kagome was not a dog- but a growl was somewhat universal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re blind. Where do you expect to go?” It was silent: low in pitch and terribly soft in tone. There were no </span>
  <em>
    <span>worded</span>
  </em>
  <span> implications needed. She was as good as dead- Either way, it seemed. There was no coexistence between Sesshoumaru and herself, but there that certainly no </span>
  <em>
    <span>existence</span>
  </em>
  <span> out there for her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Off a cliff? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Into danger? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The wrong way? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Starvation? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All of it was… bad. Things were bad. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, then. Why keep me here?” She hissed back. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>loathe</span>
  </em>
  <span> me.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was a chuckle- oh god, there was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>chuckle.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It made the skin along her spine raise with gooseflesh, crawling. God </span>
  <em>
    <span>no. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She hated it, Kagome decided gravely. There would be nothing good that would happen alongside that noise he just made. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You saved Rin.” It was such a </span>
  <em>
    <span>simple</span>
  </em>
  <span> answer. An unfinished answer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When had she done such a thing? Nigh- though she certainly </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked</span>
  </em>
  <span> Rin and would save her if given the chance to, she hadn’t intentionally saved her at any point. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You will stay with Ah and Un until my half-brother comes to retrieve you.” The words were punctuated by a shoving release of her hair as she stumbled toward Ah, who used his head to stop her from falling again. Thankfully, since her arms were still full of Shippo. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>dog.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kagome was ready to round on him, to release some of her existential emotion on this bully of a man- but a small hand came to pull at her shredded pant-leg. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Lady Kagome?” Rin’s voice was soft and sweet and it distracted Kagome from her own anger as Sesshoumaru, once again, walked away. His own emotions toiling between a reluctant, dutiful, honor and something distinctly pissed off. “Ah-Un will take us to the river to wash out the soot. Come on, please?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rin’s gentle hand pulled at Kagome’s clothing and Ah came to grasp at her backpack. What choice did she have but to follow along? She was...unable- </span>
  <em>
    <span>disabled</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The desire to leave was immense, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>what would she do?</span>
  </em>
  <span> What would she expect? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kagome just wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>to go home</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Whether that was within her group or in the modern era- she </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t care.</span>
  </em>
  <span> She yearned for familiarity. Not some haughty, controlling Dog Prince that </span>
  <em>
    <span>was just holding back</span>
  </em>
  <span> from killing her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She wanted to rub her eyes, do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>to alleviate the building headache, but the mere thought made them burn. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ehh, not really all that happy with this chapter. Seemed rushed. More of a filler chapter. </p>
<p>Anyways, please review. I am really happy to see so many people give this kudos.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Them Changes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kagome confronts herself.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kagome held on to the mane of Un as she walked slowly between the heads. Her legs were uncertain and her step was slow- but she had vehemently denied getting on the beast for the sheer reason she would have no way to do so with Shippo. </p><p>
  
</p><p>So slowly they walked, her feet drifting over the ground as she tried to feel her way through roots and rocks, keeping stable only by Ah-Un. </p><p>
  
</p><p>She was both loathing the trip to the river and looking forward to it. The heat of the fire, the running, and her nightmare had drenched the spots in her armpits and down her back. The cool air was doing nothing to alleviate the itchy, wet feeling in the folds of her skin, and the probable smell seeping from her. </p><p><br/>And what couldn’t a good scrubbing make better? </p><p>
  
</p><p>Her eyes. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Kagome bit the inside of her cheek to stop the rising burn behind her throat. She wanted to see. </p><p>
  
</p><p>She wanted to be...optimistic. She wanted to believe that it was just...a scratch. But the pain, the feeling of something seeping constantly behind the bandages, it was telling her something dark. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Kagome wanted- no- she needed to get back home. To her world. She needed a doctor to look at them, clean them up- something. </p><p>
  
</p><p>But the longer she sat here, being led by a two-headed dragon and a child to a river, the most her chest hurt and her anxiety rise. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Where was Inuyasha? Miroku and Sango? Kirara?</p><p>
  
</p><p>Where was she? </p><p>
  
</p><p>And Sesshoumaru terrified her. Being subjugated to his moods- the moods from everyone around her- was too much. Too quickly shifting. His moods were often dark: vile and angry, only shifting when regarding Rin to brighter, happier feelings. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Then his feelings toward her. Kagome didn’t like those moods. They made her feel like a prey animal: shifting between something loathsome to a curiosity that made her teeth itch. She didn’t want to be interesting to him. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“You will stay with Ah and Un until my half-brother comes to retrieve you.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Why not just...take her? With the choking of the forest, the cinder and the ash, Inuyasha could take days to find her. Then it would take days to get her to the well. The… confusing nature of the situation made her angry. Why? </p><p>
  
</p><p>Why? Why, why, why, why?!</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Kago-me?” Shippo shifted in her tightened grasp- her body becoming rigid and tense as she thought over her predicament.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Shippo!?” Kagome’s hand fell away from Un’s mane and her stride, so very slow and careful, drifted to an almost standstill as she let her hands seek his face. His brow was still sweaty and his hair was sticky. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Kagome, where are we?” His voice was gummy and thick with sleep. She could practically hear the sound of thirst in every scratchy word. His face unconsciously pressed into her hand as his still-pudgy cheek filled her palm. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Hey, hey, don’t worry about that.” Kagome cooed as she readjusted him in her aching grip. “How are you feeling? You’ve been out for a while there Shippo.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Instead of an answer, she felt a small paw- tipped with claws- touch her cheek. “Why are you bleeding?”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I- I…” There was that burning feeling in her nose and the slow closing of her throat. There were no tears- not beyond what was already being expressed. But she was crying. “Don’t worry about it. Please. Please.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>She was begging. Subtly, behind the facade of strength, she was begging. Shippo had already lost both his parents- and, in some way, he was going to lose her next. Either by her going back to her world or… to this one. At the end of the day, Kagome knew what the constant fluid meant- the pain that radiated endlessly- she was blind. Her eyes were destroyed. Bisected by a youkai, which she could still feel within her vitreous gel. </p><p>
  
</p><p>What could a blind woman do? </p><p>
  
</p><p>The hand fell away, softly, to lay against her hand. She had all but stopped walking now, a tremendous feeling of pain, doubt, and sadness clouding her, as she pulled Shippo to her and hugged as tight as she allowed herself. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Hmmm…” Shippo hummed lightly and she could feel him relax back into a semi-consciousness against her, his nose pressed to the curve of her neck. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Ah-Un, as gently as she was sure they could, pushing her forward. Her hand fell back to the mane of Un. Ahead of them, Rin hummed as well- perhaps completely unaware of Kagome’s pause. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Kagome hoped Rin hadn’t noticed. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Well- Rin brought up another question. Why had Sesshoumaru said that she had saved Rin? </p><p>
  
</p><p>She wasn’t… She hadn’t. </p><p>
  
</p><p>If anything, Rin had saved her and Shippo. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Despite not fully knowing why, or how, she was able to understand the two-headed dragon; she took a bit of solace in the fact that she could. Though she was unsure of him, his presence was kind and welcoming to her. He tried to do something when Sesshoumaru had accosted her. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Ah-Un,” it was whispered, but she knew he could hear her. “Why did Sesshoumaru claim I saved Rin?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>She let her worry be present. Her sheer feeling of being at odds in her tone and her body language, which she felt Ah-Un respond to in kind, as soft keening noise rumbling from Ah.</p><p>
  
</p><p>But they did not answer in a full language like she was expecting- instead, they seemed to practically shove their consciousness on her. A dizzy spell chilling her as she stumbled briefly, the feelings running around her head like frightful rabbits. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Then- strangely enough- she could somewhat understand. The dodder youkai forest. It had trapped them too. </p><p>
  
</p><p>And she had released them. Right? </p><p>
  
</p><p>But then why didn’t Sesshoumaru just break them out? He was the big-game, the head honcho or whatever. </p><p>
  
</p><p>But Inuyasha had also fallen with her and the rest of the group. She could still picture him in her mind, his hands tucked into his sleeves and his ears lax. How long had they been there?</p><p>
  
</p><p>How long would it be...before she forgot what he looked like?</p><p>
  
</p><p>No. No. She would not say it like that- not until she got looked over by a professional. </p><p>
  
</p><p>It was a constant bounce between sour acceptance and timid hope. She wanted to hope. She wanted to see. </p><p>
  
</p><p>But then she would remember Kaede and she would remember the smell of blood. And her eyes would hurt more heavily. God, she just wanted to hope.</p><p>
  
</p><p>The sound of water rushing over rocks, bubbling and babbling, hit Kagome’s eardrums softly. A pleasant sound that distracted her riled soul. Soothing her hard edges and allowed her to think of what she needed to do next. </p><p>
  
</p><p>There was no smell of sulfur, and there certainly wasn’t a tendril of heat through the underbrush that would have her believe that there was a proper place to fully bathe. But she wanted to wash her skin and hair- and at least get water to boil for her wounds. </p><p>
  
</p><p>And, perhaps, be able to cook broth for Shippo. </p><p>
  
</p><p>The soil beneath her feet made a change from being hard-packed earth riddled with leaves, sticks, and roots to a smoother, softer soil. The click of rocks under her feet and the sliding silt splitting with the motion of her and Ah-Un. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Rin, ahead of them, made a high pitch squeal as she stepped into, what Kagome hoped was, the shallows of the water. Kagome could smell the chill, sharp and crisp in the air. No, there certainly wouldn’t be a full bath. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Ah-Un, could you- Um.” Kagome shifted as they stopped, her shoes sinking a bit into the clay of the river bank. She didn’t know the level of comfort she had with them, but she wanted to strip and clean herself. “Are we hidden? Could I change?”</p><p>
  
</p><p>There was a grunt, then the sound of Ah-Un moving against the ground as they laid down. Un bumped her shoulder softly before they moved to take Shippo from her arms, which would allow her to freely care for herself. A kindness that backfired on Kagome’s underlying anxiety.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Kagome bristled in panic, her arms shaking slightly. Of course, she knew she wouldn’t be able to tend to herself if she kept a hold of him, but the feeling of him not being in her grasp was soul-sucking. A drifting flitter of spines against her heart. </p><p>
  
</p><p>As Un moved away with Shippo, presumably hanging from the scruff of his furred vest, Ah bumped her shaking and empty hands. Her fingers hooked slightly, muscles clenched. Her reiki swarmed out, non-aggressively, to seek Shippo out again. </p><p>
  
</p><p>There was no Sesshoumaru around. There was no threat. An-Un didn’t even make a sound as she washed them with her very soul to seek her Shippo, who was suspended- probably, on Ah-Un’s back- and sleeping. Albeit roughly, seeking her out in sleep. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Ah gently pushed her back, his teeth pulling at the hem of her sweater, pointedly telling her to change. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Her skin itched. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Kagome frowned as she took off her backpack, her fingers feeling for the zipper as she settled on her knees. The bag was half empty, the immenseness whittled down by their journey through the dodder forest, and it offered her a bit more ease to pick through the contents. The roughness of a towel, the feeling of her washcloths, the jumble of foodstuffs, and other odd things. And thankfully, a fairly thick feeling crewneck sweater that was far too big for her, but draped nicely to her thighs, and a pair of rough feeling canvas pants. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Finally, her hands fell upon a bottle with a snap top. Good thing she could read, right? </p><p>
  
</p><p>Taking out all of the products, she lined them up next to her- hating how all the bottled felt and weighed the same. And, of course- per the very domineering Inuyasha’s ample request all of them smelt like nothing.  </p><p>
  
</p><p>Kagome sighed before pulling a lip into her mouth. It wouldn’t be the worst if she just washed with one of them. It didn’t matter what she used- just as long as the soot got washed away. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Without her depth perception, her way to standing back up was wobbly at best as she stood on wary feet. In one hand she held a washcloth and one of the mystery bottles. With her toes, she removed her shoes and socks. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Behind her, she could hear Rin splashing in the water close to shore as the moist, cold ground slicked the soles of her feet. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Kssssssss.” Kagome let a long breath slide through her clenched teeth as she pulled at the folded edge of her bandage. “Ow, fffffff-Ow ow. Damn it.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>One edge of her bandages had dried to the skin next to her left eye where the skin itself had been cut. In trying to remove it, she could feel her eyelid pull with it. It hurt. God- </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Lady Kagome?” There was a hand at her side, making Kagome jump slightly. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Ah Rin, sorry!” Kagome’s voice cracked, yet was still somewhat sheepish. “I didn’t hear you come up.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Rin can help you with your bandages. Rin’s had to bandage herself before and believes she can help!” The hand pulled at her dirty sweater and Rin sounded pleasant. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I-um.” Kagome, despite the fact Rin sounded like she was fully inclined to help, didn’t know if she wanted it. She couldn’t tell what her face really looked like- but it wasn’t as if Rin hadn’t seen worse. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Warring era. There was always so much...horror to be seen. Human on human monstrosities- even without the youkai and demonkind- was frightening. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“O-only if you are sure, sweetie.” Kagome timidly crouched down as Rin pulled again, her knees sinking into the soft soil. A nervousness sweeping her, making her feel cold and urging her to run. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Then Rin’s fingers were on the side of her face, pulling gently at the bandage little by little. They were cold and gentle, her fingers resting on the edge of tattered skin as she pulled away from the strip of blood-encrusted bandage. </p><p>
  
</p><p>It stung, deeply. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Kagome flinched as the cool air stung the wound, her hand coming to hide her eyes as she sat back on the cold and soggy clay. Something leaked down her cheek and she could smell blood waft through the air again. </p><p>
  
</p><p>While choking on a sob, Kagome got up suddenly despite the dizziness that followed as she turned and ran into the freezing waters. Cupping water, cold and full of germs and microbes, all of which she couldn’t bring herself to care about, and washed her face. </p><p>
  
</p><p>She suddenly felt very young and very foolish. </p><p>
  
</p><p>What was she but a young and foolish woman? She felt shame for her audacity, something breaking in her heart. She could taste blood, she could hear the water. She could feel the fish and the water insects as they swam through the water. </p><p>
  
</p><p>She wasn’t going to make it past this. Not alone, not like she knew she would be.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Her mother- if she ever saw her again, would never let her come back to the past. Never. And if she stayed, all she would be is an incredible burden. Incapable. Sadness chilled her to the bone, more so than any outside temperature. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Even in the modern era, there wouldn’t be anything for her. A shut-away, a cripple. Someone that people looked at and pitied. She could picture people from all walks of life watching her and either ‘feeling bad’ for her, momentarily before forgetting her existence entirely, or taking advantage of her. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Her hand brushed the skin, that of which would surely scar, over the bridge of her nose. The flayed skin stinging. </p><p>
  
</p><p>And then, if couldn’t get worse, her reiki had gone wild. Kagome knew, from brief lectures, that the human body tried to make up for disabilities. Hearing, smell, feeling- but not this strange knowing. The touch of a soul was something that was… terrible. Strange and terrible. </p><p>
  
</p><p>The deaths. The births. The fleeting mortality. The feeling of being stretched so far and so thin that she no longer was ‘Kagome Higurashi’.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Lady Kagome?” And then there was Rin, at her side as Kagome washed her wound, foolishly, in unboiled water. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Whatever. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Rin is sorry for hurting Lady Kagome.” then there were arms around her legs and Rin’s face at her hip. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“No- No, no Rin-” Kagome said between rough breathing, her chest aching and her nerves on fire. “I just- the smell of blood makes me ill. Thank you, Rin.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Kagome awkwardly patted Rin, her hand falling on top of the girl’s head. Trying to calm her. Trying to say it was ok. </p><p>
  
</p><p>But it wasn’t ok. Nothing was ok. She was not ok. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I am not ok.” She didn’t mean to say it, but she also didn’t try to mend what she said. Kagome was not sorry, at this moment, for speaking what she felt. </p><p>
  
</p><p>She was in this mess because she wasn’t...enough. Not enough. Her honesty, her gut feelings. All of them were put behind a shield because, oh boy, no one else felt what she had. And now, here, past the danger and past the threat...</p><p>
  
</p><p>She was going to be honest. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Rin moved away from her, and Kagome could feel her question gaze on her. But thankfully, she simply seemed to accept it as she ran back to shore, only to turn foot, and come back. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Does Lady Kagome need help washing her hair?” There was the brush of the mystery bottle against her knuckles. </p><p>
  
</p><p>And Kagome let her, stripping off all her ruined clothing as she sat in the frigid water. Keeping still as Rin gently worked in conditioner, per her instructions, slick and soft against her neck and scalp. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Kagome rubbed at her sweater and pants, though she was sure she would never wear the pants again. Her underwear and bra, stripped away so she could bring water up under her breasts and around her ribcage, were simply held underwater by being pinned between a rock and her foot. </p><p>
  
</p><p>It was awkward. It was weird. But when it was done, Kagome felt better as she pulled her heavy crew neck over her head, the edge settling against her thighs and the soft sports bra she’d been able to find. The pants were rough, but they were warm. </p><p>
  
</p><p>The fresh bandages were firm. </p><p>
  
</p><p>When Shippo was returned to her grasp vai Un, Kagome simply tucked him into her and one-handedly put away all of her belongings. Unwilling to let him go for a second now that she had him back. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Unconsciously, he slipped his arms around her neck as if seeking his own comfort. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Kagome felt worn and drained, but as Ah nosed her shoulder she slipped her backpack on and let him guide her. Nullified and almost meek as she stood between the two heads. Even Rin was quiet as they made their way back to camp. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Yes, Kagome felt very foolish. And a burden. And a wreck. </p><p>
  
</p><p>And she wouldn’t be sorry about it. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“There you are, you foolish girl! You were gone far too long!” Jakken heralded their arrival back in camp, his shrill voice making Kagome take a step back and into the grove between Ah and Un, cringing back as her jaw tensed. </p><p>
  
</p><p>God. Old Imps and their sourness. </p><p>
  
</p><p>And the smell of blood in the air. Old and new, worn like an expensive cologne. Sesshoumaru was here, his gaze slicking to her body. Kagome could feel it. </p><p>
  
</p><p>She hoped that he loathed her still. It would be different than what she was looking forward to in the modern era. </p><p>
  
</p><p>As Ah-Un gently guided her to a spot next to the fire, Rin began to announce her thanks to Sesshoumaru. Apparently, the smell of blood was not only him, but a rabbit he had caught.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Rin hummed and Kagome could hear her preparing something close by before the smell of something roasting clouding the air. Thick. </p><p>
  
</p><p>And again, she could feel Sesshoumaru as he stared at her. Stark. Brilliant. Cold. </p><p><br/>Kagome could feel curiosity coming from him and, internally, she cursed him for not loathing her like he was supposed to. Just another passing fascination, just to be forgotten.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Author's Note:</p><p>Well, hello everyone! I wanted to thank, in pointed words, everyone who has reviewed thus far.</p><p>Thank you. It means a lot to me that people still hit that review button and I am glad that you are enjoying the story. I hope you stick around. </p><p>This story is a bit hard to put into words. I find myself putting Kagome on a mental rollercoaster. I don't go much into the pain, but instead, I like to think of what she would feel internal. Hope versus acceptance. trying to build strength in a horrible situation. </p><p>Anyway. Please review!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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